Guides
Longer guides in six areas, from the first conversation to aftercare. Each one lists its sources and says where the research stops.
Consent & communication
- Step by stepHow to talk to your partner about kink
BDSM participants are described as going to greater lengths than people in conventional relationships to negotiate important aspects of their relationships in…
- Core guideConsent in kink: informed, ongoing, revocable
This guide explains how consent is understood in BDSM, from explicit agreement and negotiation to safewords and the main consent models. The topic matters…
- GuideHow to negotiate a scene
This guide looks at how adults can negotiate a scene, which is a specific period of play agreed to by both parties. Pre-play negotiation is commonplace in…
- GuideYes/No/Maybe: mapping desires together
A Yes/No/Maybe list is a list of sexual activities and other information designed for partners to better communicate and understand each other's desires and…
Safety
- GuideSafewords and safety signals
A safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal that a person uses to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when…
- GuideAftercare: what it is and how to plan it
Aftercare is meant to combat the sudden drop in hormones and exhilaration after a scene, allowing body and mind to adjust back to everyday living . A scene…
- ChecklistPhysical safety basics: circulation, nerves, safety shears
This checklist covers breathing, circulation and nerve risks in bondage . It matters because kink-related injuries were reported as relatively common in a…
Practices
- Main guideBDSM for beginners: where to start
This guide follows bondage as a worked example, since it is described as the activity of tying or restraining people using equipment such as chains, cuffs or…
Psychology & health
- Research summaryIs it normal to have kinky fantasies? What research says
A 2015 study of over 1,000 Canadians found that about half of all men and almost half of all women held fantasies of bondage. Kink, often referred to as BDSM,…
- ExplainerDominant, submissive, switch: understanding roles
This guide explains the roles of dominant, submissive and switch, and how they sit within BDSM . The dominant–submissive relationship revolves around consent…
- GuideSub drop and dom drop: recognising and responding
This guide covers the trance-like state of a scene, emotional overload, and winding down and coming out of role play. Research on BDSM and altered states of…
Relationships
- Main guideOpening a relationship: a starting guide to CNM
An open relationship means one or more parties have permission to be romantically or sexually involved with people outside it, and the concept has been…